The Power of Rock N Roll: Immigrant Mall

By Sebastian Diaz

Jonah was dressed in a mall cop attire, mounted on a Segway, a walkie-talkie hanging from his pocket, and a huge boombox and a stack of rock records behind him.

Patrolling on the Segway, he was making sure that order was being respected because that was his job. It was a Friday at 5 PM at the Great Mall in New York City. He had finished school and now he had to finish with any wrongdoings at the mall.

As always, he wanted to set his round to some rock music, so he parked his Segway next to the little Starbucks and searched through his stack. “Beach Boys. Boston. Bowie. Leatherwolf. Zappa”, he stopped, “Zeppelin”.

He pulled out the record from his stack: Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song. It was a Viking hymn punctuated by Jimmy Page’s staccato guitar riff, Robert Plant’s howling vocals, and references to war-making, Valhalla*, and Viking raids on England. He placed the record on the boombox and turned the volume up. It could be heard all around the mall.

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! We come from the land of the ice and snow. The midnight sun where the hot springs flow. The hammer of gods will drive our ships to new lands, to fight the horde, sing and cry. Valhalla, I am coming.

On we sweep with the threshing oar, our only goal will be the western shore. Ahh! Ahh! We come from the land of the ice and snow. The midnight sun where the hot springs flow. How soft your fields so green, can whisper tales of gore. Of how calmed tides of war, we are your overlords.

On we sweep with the threshing oar, our only goal will be the western shore. So now you’d better stop and rebuild all your ruins. For peace and trust we can win the day, despite all your losing.

Despite the references to war, blood and gore, those were the kind of lyrics that could be read off works by Jackson Crawford or J.R.R. Tolkien. Norse mythology was a very interesting subject to write about: Slain armies, disgraced kingdoms, magical rings, stolen treasures, greedy dragons and looters, irascible gods, mythical heroes, and tales about how greed and pride drive human beings to impeding doom. And Led Zeppelin sure knew how to incorporate all those aspects.

The song was playing loudly as Jonah completed his round. There seemed to be no major disturbances. Suddenly, however, he heard his walkie-talkie:

“Jonah. Some suspicious guys have been spotted near the jewelry”, said a voice.

“Heard you loud and clear”, he directed his Segway towards the jewelry and saw three guys holding a young woman at gunpoint.

“Hand over the money, madam”, said one of them. The woman screamed, “Somebody! Somebody help me!”

Jonah blew his whistle, “Freeze in your tracks, hooligans!”

When they saw Jonah pointing at them with a much bigger gun, the three crooks froze and raised their hands. Jonah cuffed them as he was cheered on, and the young woman personally thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. Jonah blushed.

An hour later, his duty was over and he was ready to return home. His mother Mabel and his best friend and roommate Rocky were waiting for him.

As he walked through the street, he was able to notice a young boy on the other side of the sidewalk wearing a purple shirt, which showed a bearded wizard with a hat and staff riding a hippogriff with a castle and rainbow in the background. He thought to himself, “I wonder what Zeppelin would have said about this”, and then began to whisper the lyrics of Immigrant Song.

The End

*Valhalla: In Norse mythology, Valhalla was a mystical hall located in Asgard (the land of the gods), the final resting place for warriors who bravely died in combat.