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GEN-Z STRIKES BACK (Could Satire Save Us All?)

By Saxon Haney

Since everyone in the world recognizes the joys of making lists of things, I thought I could use this forum to remind Gen Zers that life can be fun. Amid incessant conflict, “wars” to some also called ‘movements’ by others, there is still plenty out there to enjoy and promote to create a “fun-enriched” atmosphere. For your own health, I would ask you to try and remember that when the angry ones on television tell us that we need to have a “war” on something, think twice. In my opinion, life is already pretty good and we are making ourselves sick looking for something to be disgusted over.

My hope is that my generation, Gen Z-ers, are smarter than the current media mogul pressing propaganda messages like popcorn bags. They are mindful that real wars are destructive, and the resulting upheavals and misery they create are pretty grim compared to wars on plastic straws. So, if wars on plastic straws keep us away from nuclear conflict, let the hand wringing continue. But, I wish I could tell them that, if you think about it, we are destroying our own happiness trying to come up with a movement against ourselves. Let’s consider a few examples:

1) Beef: A study report came out this week informing us that hamburgers and steak are pretty ok to eat. We won’t die from heart attacks after that Big Mac eaten on occasion. But, some people are dead-set to tell us that eating beef at all is just plain bad, ,and not just to your health. If you eat meat, you don’t love animals and you probably voted for Donald Trump. And that latter part alone makes you bad. Really bad. Eating meat bad.

On the other hand, for a lot of us who are looking for a closet to eat our next meal, meat makes us happy. And the war on meat makes us kind of sad. But fortunately there could be a solution if you can get beyond your own skin crawling at the idea of cannibalism.

One young-ish (non) supporter of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has an interesting way to have fun. At a recent rally she suggests maybe eat the babies. Check out this youtube video where the Democratic voter’s sincerity seems unquestionable.

To be clear, it was later learned that this political operative plant was using extreme hyperbole to get her political point across. Some worried that she was and remains not all right; and she might very well not be all right. But, assuming she was speaking with mental clarity, her point was simple. Severe restrictions on indispensable conveniences —like the New Green Deal—is in her mind just as crazy as eating babies. “People would die, but we don’t have a choice,” is the theme of her message. And, can’t we argue that is the message AOC is telling us to? That, if the United States doesn’t destroy her economy and jobs, then we are all going to die. Isn’t AOC saying that all the time? That we don’t have a choice? To me, that seems just as extreme as suggesting eating babies.

If nothing else, hopefully the political operative had fun. Is trolling AOC, fun? Not nearly as fun as trolling a president! Go big or go home, am I right impeachment fans? On the other hand, I would put to you that it just makes you look like a fool, and not very leader-like.

But what else is fun?

2) Climate Change: Going back to the the topic of meat, let’s consider its effect on the weather according to many scientists like former Vice-President Al “One State Away from Being President Himself” Gore. First, consider reading this article on the topic:

Cattle flatulence is a big contributor to global warming according to many activists. We all know this. So, keep in mind while you’re busy having fun enjoying that juicy tenderloin (from whatever animal you just picked) that every bite chews us towards a reduction in the amount of carbon in the atmosphere.

But while you enjoy that tasty meal, do the world a favor and turn off the A/C in the summer and look forward to the day when burning coal and other fossil fuels to heat you home in the winter is a distant memory. Because, climate change is real and public policy can make that reality a bad dream. Just ignore this weather map predicting this year’s wintery chill and you’ll be good with the Democrats Green New Deal. Burning wood works.

Nothing to see here people!

3) Babies: Back to the babies topic. Everyone knows that humans are the real reason for climate change. And, let’s all admit here that the real reason to eat babies is that they interfere with social media me-time. Well, guess what, don’t have babies and you’ll be sure to have more fun! What’s that you say? Populations need babies? Shh, don’t tell anyone that there won’t be a future without babies. It will ruin the good mood!

Notably, the Chinese have rescinded their one child policy as they have recently discovered the policy led to too many men and not enough women to keep their society blossoming. According to, here were the consequences:

· The fertility rate decreased after 1980.

· The birth rate decreased after 1980.

· The overall rate of natural increase (the difference between the birth rate and the death rate) declined.

· The Chinese government estimated that some 400 million births were prevented by the policy, although some analysts dispute this finding.

· As sons were generally preferred over daughters, the overall sex ratio in China became skewed toward males. In 2016 there were 33.59 million more men than women.

· Because of the preference for sons, there was a rise in the number of abortions of female fetuses.

· The number of female babies killed, abandoned, or placed in orphanages increased as a result of the policy.

· Incentives were offered to families complying with the policy, including financial perks and greater employment options.

· Millions of Chinese parents had to endure strict enforcement methods of the policy, including forced sterilization and forced abortions.

· In families that already had one child, the births of additional children—in violation of the one-child policy—were often undocumented, leading to many problems later on for those children as they struggled to receive an education or find work.

· Even after the one-child policy was rescinded, China’s birth and fertility rates remained low, leaving the country with a population that was aging too rapidly as well as a shrinking workforce.

Just another point of view to consider before we all go to the ballot box. Well, not all of us will get to go. Just the adults in the room. But in the opinion of this author, it is getting more difficult to tell who those people really are. If you read all the way to the end of this article, I am sure you would agree.

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